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Healing, and the Art of Self-Acceptance

December 2, 2015 By Angie 2 Comments

But healing is a journey, and I dare say the most important part of it has nothing to do with healing on the physical level. Photo of 'The Key in the Hand', Chiharu Shiota, Japan Pavililion , Biennale of Art, Venice, 2015
We’re hard on ourselves when we’re healing. We don’t forgive ourselves easily for our slip-ups and our weakness. Most of us come to the Paleo Diet and Lifestyle because we’re struggling with (dis)ease, to a greater or lesser degree. Often, we’ve tried everything within our context and reach, and we fall into Paleo with a ‘got nothing to lose’ frame of mind. That’s how it was for us. We see results, and so we stick to it, more or less. We’re happy with our ‘more’, but we beat ourselves up for our ‘less’.

There are so many confessional and delusional moments to be found in our online Paleo groups. ‘It was Aunt Sal’s birthday. Mum had cooked her brilliant lasagne, and I helped myself to two portions – but that was just the beginning. I thought, oh well, the damage is done – may as well dive right in.’ I didn’t stop for the whole day – gluten, sugar, alcohol, dairy. Today I woke up aching all over. I feel so ill. I feel like I’m never going to be able to commit long term. Sorry, everyone. I just needed to blah.’

Responses roll in, and the messages are heart-warming. There are kind and motivational words. A little bit of mothering. Just the right amount of tough-love coaching. ‘It’s okay’, says the collective voice. ‘We’ve all been there. Now, today is a new day. You get right back on track, child, and we’ll be here for you.’

There is so much generosity and love.

We’re hard on ourselves when we’re healing. We don’t forgive ourselves easily for our slip-ups and our weakness. Photo of 'The Key in the Hand', Chiharu Shiota, Japan Pavililion , Biennale of Art, Venice, 2015

I believe the communities exist, to some extent, to cushion and prop each other up again when we fall. I’m sure I’m not the only one who is blown away by these connections between virtual friends, physical strangers. Undeniably, a powerful, positive and expanding energy is created when people group together to heal.

There is also an incredible power available to us when we are able to transcend judgement and forgive. In this case, ourselves. I wonder if, along with our love for sweetness, self-reliance isn’t also built into our genes. Because it seems we have an intrinsic expectation that we can do it all, and have it all, as long as we try hard enough. If we’re not healing, then we’re obviously doing something wrong, because everyone, like, everyone, in internet land is losing weight, reversing autoimmunity disease, and puttting into remission whatever they can’t completely eliminate.

But healing is a journey, and I dare say the most important part of it has nothing to do with healing on the physical level. What all those cries and comments testify to is that the desire to heal our bodies launches us into an adventure of positive personal growth. We start low down, and step by step, we climb upwards. With each step, the perspective changes – regardless of whether or not we find perfect health.

When we’re low, we project outwards. We rail against our family / the government / the education system / Malsanto / food manufacturers / Big Pharm etc. Anyone outside of ourselves – it’s their fault. Through their lies or politics or unknowing misintent, they’re the reason we’re here, blown up like balloons and aching. The world was against me all along. They were out to get me.

We understand that no situation exists in a vacuum, but is determined by an infinite and complex interplay of factors. Photo of 'The Key in the Hand', Chiharu Shiota, Japan Pavililion , Biennale of Art, Venice, 2015

There’s a dark, negative energy in this place of blame and anger. So when, unexpectedly, our scrolling fingers land us on the right webpage and something lights up and goes ‘Ping!’, we are catapulted to a plane of courage and self-responsibility, and this higher state feels like heaven. We’re in the company of angels, and they promise to hold us warm in their wings.

The problem is that, from this place of maturity, good-will and faith, it really hurts when we fall. Because now, we have no one to blame but ourselves. We know it’s not anyone’s fault but our own. We’re not commited enough. We’re not reciting positve affirmations enough. We’re not open-minded enough. We just don’t have enough darned will-power to give up those two coffees as well. It’s those two darned coffees that are holding the inflammation deep in my cells. Or so we believe. We punish ourselves.

‘You need to forgive.’

I think it was the end of 2012 when my friend – a psychiatrist – said this to me. I think of 2012 as the beginning of it all, though I know it started years ago – I just didn’t recognise the signs. In 2012 the major contractions started, and I didn’t understand. I was into real food, as best I knew. I taught stress management techniques. My whole practice and job was about the health of the lower spine. So why was I suddenly on the floor of the bathroom, gasping with pain, wondering how on earth I was going to get to my phone, which was in the next room. I was crippled. It was all downhill from there, and I did everything. I saw physiotherapists and shiatsu massage therapists. I took herbal anti-inflammatories, and the pharms. I meditated on healing light. I changed my diet. And then this friend said to me, over coffee, ‘You need to forgive.’

‘What?’. Oh man, I’ve done so much forgiving. ‘Who?’

‘You need to forgive yourself,’ he said. ‘For being powerless in this situation.’

Stop. Right. There. Like, what, in the name of God, does that mean?

I still ponder this message. It’s a big one, with grand philosophical themes. Power, and the lack thereof. Forgiveness.

We understand that no situation exists in a vacuum, but is determined by an infinite and complex interplay of factors. Photo of 'The Key in the Hand', Chiharu Shiota, Japan Pavililion , Biennale of Art, Venice, 2015

We want to be in control. We think we are in control, and everyone tells us that if we just tweak it this way, or twang it that way, then we’ll find the tight key and be healed. Well, maybe we won’t. Maybe we can’t. Maybe, in fact, it’s beyond us. Not because of anything we can do or not do, but simply because it is.

Powerlessness, we are told, is a victim-mentality. It’s weaknes, it’s holding oneself in a state of ignorance. It’s the opposite of empowerment. It’s shaming.

Well, it doesn’t have to be. When I think of powerlessness, I think of a vulnerable thing. I think of a creature with no means of self-protection, a creature who is soft, who cannot fight or flee. This creature is dependent, it needs to be carried and held and fed. It’s a creature who is infinitely trusting, because it has no choice. It’s a baby, or a puppy, a wounded bird, or a beached whale. It is a creature who needs us. Have you never bundled an injured creature into your arms, and taken it home?

Of course, this creature lives deep within us, but when it rises, every now and again, with a little gasp for air, we try to beat it down. It makes us feel guilty. The Zen Buddhist teacher, Thich Nhat Hahn, says, No. Don’t repress your suffering , he says, because it’s a part of you. Don’t push it away. Rather, take it in your arms, as mother does when her baby is crying. She holds the baby gently and tenderly, and her lovingness calms the baby down. When baby is settled, you can put her back to bed. And while she is sleeping, go coltivate your beautiful garden.

But healing is a journey, and I dare say the most important part of it has nothing to do with healing on the physical level. Photo of 'The Key in the Hand', Chiharu Shiota, Japan Pavililion , Biennale of Art, Venice, 2015

Can we not transform our moments of weakness to moments of great self-love and tenderness? Can’t we honour those times of self-doubt as an opportunity for personal growth?

Rather than sink back down into a well of negativity, a gentle shift in attitude can hold us in a state of Acceptance. From here we can proceed to Forgiveness.

One of my most treasured of spiritual teachers, Dr. David Hawkins, explains that Acceptance is not a state of passivity. Passivity is a quality of Apathy, but Acceptance is an active plane of non-judgement which allows us to partecipate fully in life. From the perspective of Acceptance, we are able to observe things as they are right now, without needing to justify, or search for reasons. A very pure state of observation means we are not oscillating between past and future, right and wrong, or between desire and aversion. All polarities create tension and resistance because they are so subject to change.

Acceptance gives rise to tolerance. We understand that no situation exists in a vacuum, but is determined by an infinite and complex interplay of factors. Thus, all our concepts of responsibility and will are limited by context and conditions.

Acceptance means we can flow graciously with the both the ‘more’ and the ‘less’ of life, and with that comes a certain calm. A setback doesn’t translate into tragedy. We have enough energy to set long-term goals. We seek solutions and don’t waste time wallowing. We know we can’t avoid our share of suffering, but we also know our future is determined by how we react to that suffering. So we practice loving-kindness and compassion towards ourselves and others. Forgiveness follows.

From the perspective of Acceptance, we are able to observe things as they are right now, without needing to justify, or search for reasons. Photo of 'The Key in the Hand', Chiharu Shiota, Japan Pavililion , Biennale of Art, Venice, 2015

Forgiveness, I find, happens naturally when I peel away the hard and brittle sheaths of the judged object to reveal it’s soft and vulnerable heart. When I choose to recognize the inner child, everything changes. All judgement falls away in the light of that innocence and powerlessness. It’s rare to find a person who has not been damaged in some way.

Forgiveness, however, is not turning a blind eye. Rather, it engages our capacity to differentiate. We forgive the child for their innocence and ignorance, and because we know that what we see before us is the result of an infinite and complex design. That doesn’t mean we condone bad behaviour. With tolerance, loving-kindness and determination, we commit to re-education and positive transformation.

Forgiveness is so liberating. Once we’ve forgiven, we can relax. 

So, please, don’t beat yourself up because you’ve fallen off the wagon. It happens to everyone. Don’t blame yourself, or anyone else, for your illness or your pain. Accept that you are where you are because of an infinite, complex interplay of factors. Know you are an intricate and beautiful blend of strengths and subtle hues. Love your inner child, because she is a part of you. Forgive yourself, and honour your weakness – it’s the source of your personal growth. Relax, be light. Go with the flow, and stay on track, both at the same time.

The photos were taken with my phone at the Biennale of Art, Venice, 2015. The work is entitled, The Key in the Hand, by Chiharu Shiota, for the Japan Pavillion.


How have physical healing and personal growth intertwined in your own life? I would love to hear your stories. All your comments, feedback and sharing are so appreciated, and are so important for the motivation of everyone.

Thanks for reading, and thanks so much for sharing the message on your Social. 

Best wishes, Good Health.

 

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Hi, I'm Angie. Thanks for popping by. I'm here to help you say goodbye to allergies, reduce inflammation and lose weight... naturally and forever. Scout around the website, there's loads of information. And when you're ready to make real, sustainable changes, get in touch and I'll talk you through my Primal Health Coaching programs. You don't have to live with the pain - trust me. Been there, done that, I know. I'm looking to meeting you, and I look forward to helping you live a much healthier, happier life.

Need help reaching your health and wellness objectives? Call Me for Coaching!

Angelina Brazzale is a certified Primal Health Coach. She cna help you reach your goals of health and vitality through evolutionary diet and lifestyle practices.

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I’m neither a doctor nor a nutritionist, but, as a Primal Health Coach, I can work in collaboration with them.  I’m a person with a passion for health, food and learning, and I want to share my findings with you. All opinions expressed here are my own. Be sure to seek the supervision of a licensed healthcare professional before making changes to your diet or prescription medications.

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🔸Primal Health Coach
🔸 Steering Women away from Physical Meltdown and towards a Quality Life
🔸 Nutrition, Inflammation, Yoga & Meditation

What makes you happy? Do you have any Happiness Ro What makes you happy? Do you have any Happiness Routines?

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THE MOST AMAZING THING about health is that you ge THE MOST AMAZING THING about health is that you get to choose. Even if you have a familial predisposition to something. Even if you’ve already been diagnosed with something. Even if you’ve hit rock bottom and are despairing.

You get to choose. I’m not saying that you can miraculously heal issues which are deeply rooted. What I’m saying is that, no matter where you’re starting from, you can decide to reach your health potential.

That potential is different for everyone. For some it means winning gold at the Olympics. For others it means managing autoimmune disease, cancer or depression with a minimum of pharmaceuticals and medical interventions.

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Recipe Post! If you know that you Should eat liver Recipe Post! If you know that you Should eat liver because it’s a superfood and all the Paleo & AIP folk promote it... but you can’t get past the strong flavour - then this recipe is for you.

It’s like Liver for Beginners. In fact, why didn’t I call the post that? 

Save this, or pop over to the website if you want to print it - it’s currently on the home page. Later, in “Recipes”. 

Fried Liver with Spice
Ingredients
🥄 300 grams beef liver
🥄 2 tablespoons cassava (manioca) flour
🥄 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
🥄 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
🥄 1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
🥄 1/4 teaspoon ground tumeric
🥄 1/4 teaspoon salt
🥄 2 tablespoons olive oil

Instructions
1. Cut the liver into bite-sized pieces, about 5cm.
3. Mix the flour, cinnamon, cloves, ginger, tumeric and salt in a bowl. 
5. Add the pieces of liver one at time and toss to coat with the spice mix.
6. Heat the oil in a fry pan over a medium heat. Add the liver in a single layer. Fry for a couple of minutes on each side so that the pieces are golden and cooked to your liking.

Notes
Make double the recipe or enough to fill a small jar so that you always have the spice mix on hand.

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Sweet, whatever else is going on in your world doe Sweet, whatever else is going on in your world doesn’t matter. What your body needs is Nutrient Dense Food.

Getting nutrient food into your mouth isn’t difficult. It’s not time consuming. It’s not going to blow your budget. It’s not going to destroy the planet.

It’s going to make you well.

The right food will
👏regulate your metabolism, stabilise your energy and relieve your hunger.
👏It will calm your mind, your anxiety, your depression.
👏It will heal your gut and thus your immune system.
👏It will allow so much of your suffering to dissipate, dissolve and disappear.

Nutrient dense food is:
🦴🍗🍤🥚Quality protein sourced from animals because that’s the only way you’re going to get those synergistic combinations of all essential amino acids plus stuff like Vit.B12 & collagen which are only found in animal products
🥑🥚🥥 Healthy fats, and apart from avocados, coconut, olives & a few nuts & seeds, again we’re talking animal products: eggs, fatty fish, sat fat from animals.

If you want to know more in a clearly explained way, jump to my bio, click through to Quality Life & grab a copy of my free guide. Health is Easy! If it wasn’t we would never have survived. 💪👏😊

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80% of what you look like and how you feel depends 80% of what you look like and how you feel depends on what you put into your mouth. 80%! The other 20% is divided between how you’re moving, how you’re sleeping, how you’re connecting (with others, yourself, nature & the world) and how you’re thinking, your mindset.

The importance of that 80% cannot be overemphasised.

Things we commonly put into our mouth:
🔸 damage our gut
🔸 wreck havoc with our hormones
🔸 mess with our head
🔸 disrupt our metabolism
🔸 send our immune system into overdrive
🔸 send our stress levels skyrocketing

Changing dietary habits is crucial if you want to get your weight, your inflammation and pain, & your stress levels under control.

Essentially, it’s not hard. Pragmatically, it’s hard to change habits.

Helping you to change habits for health is my job, and I love what I do. ❤️

In my bio, there’s a link to my website. On the website, there’s a free Quick Guide, information, recipes. Get in touch if you’ve got healing work to do! 🙋🏻‍♀️

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How To Be Healthy. 3 Factors. 3 Systems. 5 Element How To Be Healthy. 3 Factors. 3 Systems. 5 Elements.

The 3 big factors which impact on health are:
🔸Metabolism 
🔸Inflammation 
🔸Stress

To be healthy we need to heal & strengthen
💪 The Digestive System
💪 The Immune System
💪 The Nervous System

We do this by making wise choices with regards to how we

🔸Eat
🔸Move
🔸Sleep
🔸Connect
🔸Think

These are the 5 Elements of my Health Reset program. The program works because we gently address all of these elements, all at the same time.

For the Free Guide & for more info, jump to my bio & click through to the Quality Life website.

Health is easy! You just need to know how it’s done. ❤️

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I was lucky. Because Fiorenzo had his own health p I was lucky. Because Fiorenzo had his own health problems, he came on board when I needed to make big changes. We committed together, and it made - it makes - the whole trip so much easier.

Surrounding yourself with people who are encouraging , who believe in your ability to transform & who are not going to sabotage your efforts is super important. 

Who supports you in your efforts to be healthy?

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Hi there, I'm Angie. I help women heal from Pain, Stress, Excess Weight, Burnout, Autoimmune & Allergies... Naturally & Forever.
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